Thank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to read what I've posted today.
Once upon a time, I used to have an active mind, a sharp wit, and a strong identity that I thought would last forever. I knew that life was changing, in constant flux, but I had no idea that over time, through all the changes, I would lose myself so completely that I was no longer capable of even having an appropriate emotional reaction to things I knew in my heart were important. All of this happened once I entered the "Real World" and realized that I would be challenged to make who I was in the past somehow relevant in the present/future, and if the efforts of such proved to be ineffective (which for awhile, they had), I would find myself in the inevitable position of having to consider just who I wanted to become, all from scratch, in my 20s. Throughout my life, I've always been relatively introverted, which I guess made me naturally self-reflective. This divine gift has been a blessing and a curse, afraid to voice my thoughts and opinions because of how others may react, but careful and sensitive to various social situations... But back in the "once upon a time" days, I wasn't afraid because despite whatever I may have said, I always had a group of people who knew me and who I knew well enough that they would always be beside me. All of those people have moved on, and I don't want to live in the past of what life used to be anymore. I want to be independent in every facet of my existence, and I want to be able to stand beside myself without second-guessing. I will achieve this empowered sense of identity, and have already begun. There's so much more I want to say, about my background, my aspirations, my journey through life thus far - Probably, in the eyes of a lot of people, if I went into it most would think there wasn't much to tell. In due time I will strip off the layers one by one, and hopefully rediscover some relevant information about who I am, what I really believe in, my deepest values, and the amazing things I wish to take notice of in Life again. Hopefully this first post didn't bore anyone to death and until next time, Ciao. ^_^
Ajax, I was definitely not bored reading your blog, and I think that you did a beautiful job introducing yourself and reflecting on your life. I think that you are off to a good start, because you are young, and you know yourself. You know what kind of personality you have (introspective), and you realize that you have "lost" yourself. I also really appreciate your honesty, and love that you know what it is you want to do, and NEED to do to find yourself, and get YOU back. I know exactly how you feel...that "real world" can do a number on a person. It's a true test of strength, and I can tell that you have it. You keep expressing yourself, and I will keep encouraging you! Here we go.... Kara:)
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